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28-Jul-2017 21:14

True, Jim and Pam's "Office" romance is a rare and beautiful thing.

But while office romances are common, office flirtations are probably even more common -- so much so that it's sometimes hard to tell when they're happening.

That's good news for Nicole Williams, a career expert and author of the in-stores-next-week "Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success." The media storm surrounding Letterman, she says, is bringing to the forefront an issue that's as relevant and pervasive as ever.

"Eight million Americans every year enter into at least one romance starting from work," she said, quoting a statistic from Vault.com, an online career site. To think that -- during, in some cases, a 12-hour day -- this isn't going to come up in the workplace is naiveté.

But with her ingenious approach-taking the tactics used to land a man and applying them to your career-you'll be able to handle any work situation and come out on top.

Here, Nicole introduces twenty tried-and-true dating rules such as "Don't Give Away the Milk for Fr Nicole Williams is the tell-it-like-it-is career expert who you wish could fight your work battles for you.

It’s all about human nature and the same way you don’t want to give away your milk for free on a first date with a man, you don’t want to give your milk (talent) away for free to your employer –in both cases you end up being taken advantage of and disrespected.

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"The chemistry and energy of flirtation and sexuality," whether people act on it or not, she said, "is a driver in the workplace." CNN spoke to Williams about this touchy dynamic, the rules that can make this reality less dangerous and the questions she has about what's happened in the "Late Show" offices. Williams: At the end of the day, it is very dangerous to have sex with your boss. Your reputation can be hit in a way that's unrecoverable.

was inspired by a gift my girlfriends gave to me after I had left my husband in the hopes of getting me back in the dating game.

In the basket of goodies was a pile of dating books and as I flipped through -all the classics –I quickly realized these dating rules are actually brilliant career strategies!

Cross isn't the first to raise the question -- Catherine Hakim's "Erotic Capital" famously argued that women and men should use all the tools at their disposal to get ahead -- including their sex appeal.

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Cross ultimately came out against this technique, recalling how a flirty boss went from having devoted subordinates and universal popularity to being resented by all once they realized "their devotion would never be returned." In an interview with , Nicole Williams, author of "Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success," argued her case for flirting at work, calling it "empowering" and describing it as an "extension of good networking skills"; after all, it involves eye contact, listening and smiling, just with what Williams defines flirting as an effort to make the other person feel confident and attractive (the dictionary definition isn't far off: "to behave amorously without serious intent"), so she also advises giving an authentic compliment or offering a touch on the hand.

Here, Nicole introduces twenty tried-and-true dating rules such as "Don't Give Away the Milk for Free" and "Don't Waste the Pretty" and reveals how they can be applied just as effectively in the office.



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